Careers in Real Life

If you live in a major metropolitan area and plan to move to New York City, this post is not for you. This is for those that have grown up in small cities, dreaming of someday moving to New York. I was one of those people. These are some things I wish I would have known when I relocated. It wouldn’t have stopped me from going, but it would have been nice to have a heads up:

1. You will be lonely.
Relocating to any new city usually means you know few, if any, people. It’s lonely when you wish you were going out with friends and you realize you don’t have any. It doesn’t help that living in New York is totally over-glamorized on television and in the movies. The TV/movie people want you to believe you’ll be going to fabulous parties and exclusive events with all your well-connected, super-fun friends. That is not realistic, not for the average twenty-something, anyway. It’ll suck sitting in your tiny apartment at first, wishing you had someone to call, but it will get better.

2. You have to put yourself out there.
To get over the loneliness, you have to try new things and put yourself in awkward situations in order to meet people. Some people are totally at ease with this. Many are not.

I am an introvert. I like interacting with people, but meeting random people often exhausts me. I knew I had to get over this, though. A benefit of living in New York is that there are tons of ways to meet people (for free!). I joined the Lunch Club. Basically, it’s a community of people who are interested in making friends. You sign-up for events online, show up and make friends with strangers. You can also look for events with the NYC chapter of your alumni association, join a pick-up soccer game in the park, talk to random people while waiting for the subway, whatever. Just find a way to interact with others.

3. Learn to read a subway map.
Ah, the NYC subway. One of the best transit systems in the world. Also one of the most confusing. The map really can really tell you everything you need to know, if you know how to read it. Ask your new friends to show you or look it up online.

If you want to cheat, use HopStop. Enter your starting point and your destination and it will give you door-to-door directions.

You can always ask others for directions (yes, it’s true: New Yorkers will stop to help you. Probably because they relocated, too, and want an opportunity to show off their new knowledge). Use the correct lingo when asking for help. Always refer to trains by the letter or number, never color. Know if you need to go uptown/Bronx or downtown/Brooklyn from your current spot because that’s how the trains are labeled. And don’t get on the express train unless you know for absolutely certain that it will stop at your stop. (You can’t go wrong with the local trains – they stop at all stops).

I like this advice about subway etiquette, which will help you feel like a local. Or at least look like one.

Of course, nothing helps you learn faster than getting on the train and making mistakes. The faster you learn, the more you’ll feel like you fit in. Your new subway navigation skills will be really impressive when your friends from the Midwest come to visit.

4. Prepare to pay lots of rent.
You’ve probably heard this a billion times: New York City is expensive. Duh.

I did not understand the reality of this until I was apartment searching in New York. Prepare to put down at least two months rent, maybe three. Plus, most people will probably need a broker. That means you pay someone to find and show you an apartment. Plan to pay a him/her 10-15% of the total yearly rent for your new place. Keep in mind that rent in New York can be thousands of dollars a month.

You will probably also need to prove you have a steady income, provide a rental history and pass a credit check. Have check stubs, bank statements and previous rental information ready to go. If you can’t do these things, you will probably need someone to co-sign your lease for you.

If at all possible, seek out a sublet or find a roommate on Craigslist to avoid the extra costs and hassle. Consider moving during fall or winter, when there is less competition for apartments.

5. Be prepared to be inconvenienced. Daily.
Life in New York is often a pain. You don’t have a car, so you have to walk a lot. My first Thanksgiving in the city, I carried a frozen turkey in a gigantic backpacking backpack on the subway, in the rain, while wearing 3-inch heels. At that moment, I really, really wished I had a car.

It is also likely that at some point in time you will have to deal with mice and/or cockroaches, no matter how clean you keep your place. It’s disgusting – I once trapped and kept a roach under a shoebox for weeks because the thought of squishing it grossed me out.

You also have to share a ridiculously small piece of land with millions of other people. It gets crowded.

6. No matter how many reasons not to relocate others may give you, you should do it.
Every inconvenience, every moment I spent feeling sorry for my friendless self, every time I got lost and ended up in a slightly sketchy neighborhood was totally worth it. New York City IS an amazing place, with one-of-a-kind opportunities. You’ll learn a ton about yourself and leave (if you ever do) a stronger person.