Careers in Real Life

This winter I read A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen. The basic idea of the book is that complaining is so common and so normalized by society we don’t even realize how much complaining we’re actually doing. Furthermore, we are often rewarded with a false sense of camaraderie with others as we all complain to one another, even though it leaves us feeling stressed, angry, and unhappy.

Have you ever walked into a co-worker’s office to vent about something? “Venting” is the code word for complaining. You unload complaints on your co-worker, unnecessarily involving them in whatever is going on, and you both walk away feeling worse than when you started. The initial situation causing the complaining isn’t resolved, either. Not productive.

Some researchers figured out it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. So, the complaint-free challenge is to go 21 days in a row without complaining, criticizing or gossiping about others.

Friends, let me tell you, this is more difficult than I thought it would be. I started on January 1 and have made it six full days complaint-free. That’s 6 days out of over 100. When I catch myself complaining I switch a ring from one finger to the next, to consciously re-train my brain to recognize complaints before they fly out of my mouth. It is a slow process, but I’m re-committing to a complaint-free world.

With the economy in the crapper, there is a lot of complaining going on. Lately, I’ve realized almost all my conversations with other career services professionals or employers begin negatively. Is on-campus recruiting on the decline? Are students panicking? Are employers reneging on offers? I answer – yes, some, a few – and then we talk, for the billionth time, about how tough things are right now.

Enough.

These conversations are pointless small talk from which no one gains. Instead, let’s talk about what strategies we’re using to help students deal with this tough market. Can we share ideas about how to work more effectively with recruiters? Can we share success stories about students who are getting job and internship offers?  I’m tired of being bummed. I’m ready to put some positive energy out into the world.

If you’re a job seeker, this is even more important. I know it sucks right now so you don’t have to remind me of this. When discussing your search with others, maintaining some positivity will be especially impressive. Tell your contacts what you’re doing to overcome the challenges, and they’ll want to get on board and do what they can to help. According to Bowen, as we re-train our brains to focus on the bright side of things, we’ll feel happier, healthier and good things will come to us.

So, let’s collectively shut up about the economy, stop complaining and start dealing.